


love is more thicker than forget

by orphan_account



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Drinking, F/F, this is my first time doing this idk what im doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23150779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kara and Lena count the drinks until they’re friends again.[title is from e. e. cummings poem]
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 4
Kudos: 130





	love is more thicker than forget

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first work so pls be nice. Any constructive criticism is welcome. :)

1

The night begins tensely. One glass of scotch for Lena. One shot of Aldebaran rum for Kara. There is no talking.

2

It is Lena’s idea to begin after the second drink. Kara is willing to do whatever is necessary to get Lena to talk to her. One more glass of scotch and one more shot of rum is a small sacrifice to make. Warmth fills the room, or maybe it is just their bodies. They glance at each other, but Lena can not stand to look into Kara’s pitiful eyes for longer than a second. She prays she has the strength to get through this night without crying and orders again. Kara’s heart sinks as the alcohol rises in her glass. The harsh alcohol numbs the hurt.

3

Lena is finally loose enough to have this conversation. Kara’s head is spinning. She hates the fact that she is a lightweight. She hates the fact Lena is hardly tipsy.

“You lied,” Lena says plainly, trying to keep her voice steady and strong.

“To protect you,” Kara responds softly. Lena just laughs, eyes narrowed and focused on her glass. She still can’t look Kara in the eye but it is all Kara wants her to do. She misses Lena’s green eyes and glittering gaze.

“I’m a Luthor, Kara. I probably would have been safer if I knew I had a superpowered best friend.”

“You would have had so many more enemies. I couldn’t put you in danger like that. I couldn’t risk your life.”

“So you risked my heart instead?”

Kara has no response to that. No matter how much Lena tries to harm with her words, all Kara hears is the hurt in them. And it breaks her heart every time.

Kara orders the next round. She ignores Lena’s glance at her, welcoming the burn of the rum as she chokes it down.

4

Sober thoughts are drunk words. That was Kara’s rationale for this meeting. Lena had been wary but she’d agreed. She told herself it was to gain closure. She ignored the fact that all she wanted to do was fall into Kara’s open arms.

Kara would normally be getting giggly by now. She always had been told she is a fun person to get drunk with. Lena is not a fun person to get drunk with. Lena only drinks when she’s sad.

“I told you again and again how much it hurt to have everyone in my life turn on me. Mistrust me. Humiliate me. I really thought you were different.”

Kara stares at the bar in shame. She had never meant for this to happen. The longer she put off telling Lena, the larger the gap grew between them. Now it is a chasm she can’t figure out how to cross.

Lena finally looks into Kara’s eyes. They hold such pain and sadness. “I really, really hoped you would be different.” 

Kara looks away.

The words hurt. Lena knows the words hurt. Kara is beginning to grow desperate. This is not how the conversation was supposed to go. Kara understands Lena’s viewpoint—she always has—but she needs Lena to understand hers, too.

“I never intended to hurt you. I kind of knew it would be inevitable, but I was selfish. With you, I’m Kara. I’m only Kara and you like me for me. I get to be human and you never want anything more from me. Whenever I spend time with you I lose myself in the freedom of being me. Before I knew it we were best friends and I was still just…Kara.”

Lena can see the sincerity in Kara’s eyes and feel the love in her words. It washes over her and gives her a strange sense of security.

“I was going to tell you hundreds of times, but you gave me hundreds of reasons to just be Kara.”

Lena sighs. She supposes if Kara truly wants a heart to heart, she is going to have to be vulnerable.

5

It has been going quite well as far as Kara is concerned. As far as Lena is concerned…well…she orders another round. She has spent so much time staring at the bar she knows the minute variations in the color of the wood. Kara is quite lively, though, and it occurs to Lena that Kara is quite the lightweight.

Kara can tell she is drunk. She’s had five shots of Aldebaran rum when normally she drinks one and is tipsy all night. She is lively and wild and gesturing and Lena looks concerned but Kara really needs to press the fact that she is fine and they will continue to drink until Lena is her best friend again.

“Look, Kara. This is going well. Better than I thought it would. But you are getting way too drunk to have this conversation and I’ve reached the point where I’m willing to say I care about you again.”  
Kara’s heart explodes with joy and she stands up quickly to give Lena a hug but it goes to her head and she plops back onto her seat, vaguely nauseous. Maybe she is more drunk than she thinks.

“Let me take you home,” Lena says. There is a hint of amusement in her voice as she says this and Kara giggles.

“You think I can’t hold my alcohol,” she accuses playfully.

“I think I’ve never seen you this drunk before and I’m jealous that you probably don’t get hangovers.”

“No I do not,” Kara chimes. She revels in the easy teasing before sobering quickly at the thought. “Are we good now? Do you forgive me? Can we be friends again?”

Lena’s quiet. “I’m not mad at you and a friendship can’t be erased overnight, but it also can’t be rebuilt overnight. I need time, Kara.”

Kara nods. It is silent for a while. Lena finishes off her fifth glass of scotch. “Home?” she asks.

“Home,” Kara responds. She is tired.

They lean on each other as they stumble their way out of the bar. Lena tentatively wraps her arm around Kara’s waist, trying to help keep her balance. Kara is fully pressed against Lena, craving closeness with her former best friend, contentment filling her to the brim.

She knew Lena would be hurt once she found out Kara’s identity. She knew the longer she waited, the worse it would be. But she also knew that escaping her life as Supergirl to be Kara with Lena was what made her life bearable. Someone to be around with no expectations of her except to be good. She hopes it all does not end now Lena knows.

6

Lena sits at the island in her apartment. Kara is snoring softly in her guest room and the sound makes Lena’s heart ache for simpler times. She should not still be drinking. She should be sleeping. But she prefers a hangover to the pain she feels when she is sober and the dreams that tease her with scenes of Kara. Kara smiling. Kara laughing. Kara looking at her, disappointment and suspicion in her eyes. Kara spitting the Luthor name back in her face.

The cognitive dissonance that Lena experiences because of Kara’s two identities is mind-blowingly confusing. She supposes it is easier to be angry at Supergirl than it is to be at odds with Kara.

She sets her glass down, sliding it away before rising to go to her bedroom. The halls softly light up as she walks through them and she pauses at the doorway to the guest bedroom, staring in at Kara who is in a rather undignified position, splayed out like a starfish. She is surprised to find it does not pain her to look at her former best friend. It does not make her feel like she is breaking. It just makes her feel…sad. She has had enough of being sad.

• • •

∞

Alex is laughing. J’onn is laughing. Winn is snorting out his drink. Kara is...happy. She glances over the table at Lena only to find her emerald eyes already staring at her. Lena scrunches up her nose and sticks her tongue out and Kara is filled, not for the first time, with utter love for the woman across from her.

It was a rough few months. Fighting and crying. Crying and hugging. At some point hugging turned to kissing and now here they are. Out for drinks on a Friday night. Lena left the office at a reasonable time. She is drinking a reasonable amount. She seems lighter and happier. Kara feels it too.

The night ends and Lena slides her hand into Kara’s. It’s like they were made for each other. Kara kisses her once, twice, and they slide into their car to drive home.


End file.
